Photos by Ine III

That is what Neighbours do.

Sometimes it's too busy to find some time to write.
When there is too much time, the only thing I did was to write.

At this moment I am working hard and try to integrate the new life (work and child)
into the old life. (not work and child).

I cannot hardly imagine that I was just visiting an opening of a shop in my street.
I went there alone with the little one. Just being in the neighbourhood.

Walking around and Chit-Chatting with all kinds of people, until I went home.
Of course also grasping some little snacks for the celebration.
It is not only work and child. It is also work and child and neighbourhood.

I am a neighbour. That is what neighbours do.
They fill up the neighbourhood,
chit-chatting about the neighbourhood.
What's new? And Stuff.

It's been a year ago, since I started to live here.
So much has happened since then!
I guess that integration takes time.
I guess that one year is not so much time for this.
I guess that in the end, all went so bloody fast.
While it felt for a long time, that nothing was happening at all.

Godaya

Photos by Ine II

Tomorrow is going to be Hot.

Sometimes, when I write something, things turn around.
That is not the aim, but it is - obviously - sometimes the effect.

At this moment, the yoga opens more and more.
I am glad to feel that I am finally ... 'something'...,
as for years I was a plumber without tools, an ice skater
without ice, a healer without a magic stick.... I was clumping
around. This year, I have worked in quite some different
functions, finding out, I was not.

Through experience and work I know now, that it is
'just work' with good days and bad days. One has to go
to work. Loving your work is 'overly-done', but at least
I can finally say:
something is fitting me.

I am no longer an office manager applying for a job
as a headhunter, or a fireman, blushing an ice-cake....

No, I guess I could say: I am a Yogi! Religiously, practically,
authentically and hopefully finally....

Yesterday, there were two closures: I didn't know that
I functioned as a closure, but it felt a little like that.
The last beed of the necklace.
Not to be 'someone', but functionally seen in time:

One group was closed earlier: I have to study as a yoga teacher
to be part of the Dutch Yoga Teacher Society. So I subscribed
for a meditation teacher training (Za Zen, Samsara and Vipassana)
to follow. Then I heard that the group was closed already, fully
booked. I left it to providence.

Also I had applied at a New Yoga Center in the Landscape.
For some time this was also fully scheduled. I left it up to providence.

But then yesterday, I got the news of both, that there was
a place provided.
And also I heard the news that I got yoga hours,
which double my amount of weekly
classes. Just after both became finalised, a gesture of both was
made, so that it really felt like a closure (functional). Like it
was already meant to be so.

I mean: I didn't knew, but Providence did.
Well, thank you Providence.

Whatever, let's not romanticise the whole thing....
We do it for the bread, as the breastfeeding is also slowly
coming to a closure....to a bread.
Breast ->  Bread.
It is just work....

But it also feels like a deep relieve, that 11 years of working,
applying and trying this and trying that and figuring out that nothing fits
(for years), is finally coming to a closure. Let's hope so.

I guess it also has to do with time. Eleven years ago, yoga wasn't
so 'hot'. - it by then was not really a 'job'.

Tomorrow,
I have to teach a class in a heated cabine.
It's going to be a hot day.

My weekly yoga schedule will be published on my website:
www.godaya.me

Godaya

Stop throwing Stones.

Besides that all people represent themselves, they also represent something deeper,

at a bigger scale within the system.

We all have a message to bring, which is beyond our knowing.

This is something totally different than 'what we think it is'.

It could be that someone is 'acting like it is my wish to better this world',

while at a deeper layer something opposing is brought into this world.

What is there behind the message?

Or that someone is telling a sad story,

but at the same time you feel better through his/her presence.

It is all operating very unconscious.

It is a little bit like the weather.

In the beginning you almost don't notice it.

After a while you start noticing it, 

but you cannot change it, - the weather -, 

you have to go through it and see if you are still standing straight.

It is life to encounter this and that.  

This standing straight is weird and so not the old kind of way.

Because, when you stand straight, how to be of help to another person?

In the beginning you only feel guilt: I should help.... but at the same time, 

the water flows differently. Or: I should help.... but at the same time,

I am rooted into the earth and cannot walk, as I am a tree standing still.

One has to find me first.

This passiveness, it is so weird!

Looking at it, receiving it, swallowing it, digesting it, pooping it,

and when it is in one of those stages,

the other is already gone and you are here with your life and the other is there with his life.

The water is the time, that flows. 

Sometimes the water is like mud.

Sometimes the water flows like a waterfall.

Time passing by. 

Water flowing to a standstill.

Lately I am integrating in the Landscape,

while M is disintegrating from the Landscape.

It is weird. What is it going to be. It is the opposite of whatever was all that time.

I am not allowed to work a lot, but what I work, grows and grows.

It is weird. I die to get to work, it goes through all the difficult and stupid

and dishonourable steps.

But once I get to work, it grows intrinsic and helps all other parts in my life.

The powers emerge. 

Where I used to be happy with one or two participants in a class, 

there are sometimes eighteen. 

But also, these many people, esp. when you are going deeper, also represent

all kinds of weather. As I am learning to stand still in time and let the water flow

and the time walk ahead, through the art of patience and rooting,

I see it inter colliding and meeting and bumping into others.

As the intrinsic growth is going so fast, once I work, 

I now understand why it is so hard to get work/get to work.

Off course there is the natural flow and timing. 

And you cannot peak forever.

But the getting to work part is opposed,

by whomever don't want you to exist.

It takes a while to figure this one out, 

to feel this deeper and to take action.

It is all so unconscious.

Getting back to the Darwin:

Getting back to the Rens:

Getting back to the Ha-le-lu-yah:

Getting even back to the Michel Houellebecq:

People do a lot to exist more than others.

But everyone should have the precondition to exist.

Whomever did make the non-existence as a precondition?

Was this the rage of God, when the angels fell or Adam and Eve

were leaving Paradise on Earth?

Fortunately and unfortunately enough, at some point you 'have to go for the kill',

to be not killed yourself. 

This makes sad in the beginning. This insight, but also this reality, that insight must

be translated into action. 

This is the Krishna point, where I was talking about.

I don't wanna fight, but I have to. It is my destiny.

It is the only way to allow the life force flowing into you.

It brings you beyond the judgemental stuff: 'don't do this, don't do that', to be a good person.

It was told by the One, who already had the Life Force Elixir flowing through the body.

When this is so, then the don't do this and don't do that can enter your life.

But without the Elixir, it is just wasting each other's time and a way to feel better

than the other.

A good person, with enough respect to the life force,

does the right thing, to make the little one eat by the end of the day,

just like everything and everyone in nature does.

What people sometimes forget, when quoting how things should be,

is the harshness of life and all the woundedness of people, 

that one has to deal with, while having to do the stuff that needs to be done.

Stop throwing stones.

I'll take my stone back. I am sorry.

Godaya 

 

Photos by Ine

Ine already sent several pictures in former blogs.
She exposes at Piershil in the Silver Shoe and designed the covers of
Go Dao & Open Heart Yoga, see website: www.godaya.me
Several photo's can be ordered in the format of postcards.

To Godaya IV

Hi Godaya,

Thanks for your answer.

I am happy for that.

There is respect.

You use God. It might sound crazy, but...

God uses you as vehicle and you eat his fuel.

God needs you.

As you are dying, you can do nothing else than eat his fuel.

Back together in one, giving from the heart, giving from the love'.

Thanks for that!

Tonny.

What is the right answer?

I don't know what the right answer is.

In the room, that I am in, there are two lessons to learn.

1. Have no image, no belief, no desire in how things should be.

2. There are no rules, no morality.

At the same time, the Being was never more direct and available and tangible all the time. But this ain't enough. What if the Being is not enough?

---

So what is the right answer?

I have to split this up into pieces.

1. Why don't you believe in God, but call Him your fuel? (Tonny's).
2. Why (this is a more general question) using advertisements on your blog? (No one's or everyone's question).

---

People believe or they believe not. In whatever. Idealisms, ethics, family, love, or G. Doesn't matter. In this room I live without believes. That doesn't mean that I ignore the Existence or G.

But this fact, is then put into real life. Ongoing. The interrelationship between the most highest and purest energy and the lowest opposing world, struggling, power playing, surviving. For me it literally means dying. My wish is not to die. So G makes me driving His vehicle. He is the fuel.

I could also say: this is slang. Ending a sentence with a one-liner, could be slang.
Slang = not snake. Slang is just a way of saying things in general in a sort of - we understand what you are saying kind of way. If you don't understand the sentence, we don't share the same slang.

For me Vivication exists, but as I am also sent into the world of people, where it doesn't exist, and the situations force me to merge the two different worlds, which means I am dying as an effect, I just let G be the fuel and I go.

---

About the more general question, asking myself aloud: Don't get me wrong. I am not an advertisement person. I was against it, but in this room, I am releasing all kinds of ideas, judgements and stuff. And off course, I know, that if you make this connection, then I also know that there are persons with ideas and judgements about this. I also have them, but I kill them, by feeling unusual and un-self through this in-authentic move.

Moreover and that's the foremost reason: it doesn't work until so far. The idea is, that when an advertisement is clicked on by another person, I earn money, but people that read my blog in general don't click, because they don't know that they should click, because the advertisement eats them, because they don't like advertisement, or consider it an insult to G.

So the effect is, that my blog is decreasing in its authentic value and neutrality and that it doesn't bring me the money that is promised (another belief, dying). Without experimenting, one doesn't know and releasing all judgements.

---

I am in two worlds right now: I write the Un-facebook, but at the same time I gather also lots of work from Facebook. Krishna said in the Bagavad Gita: If you have to go to war, go to war, despite the consequences. I have to go to work.

There is no right answer.

Godaya

To Godaya III

Hi Godaya,

There might be just one sentence for this blog: Why don't you believe in G?

Why don't you believe in G and why do you see Him as your fuel?

Tonny.

Motherhoodism

I dodn't know when I became a yogi.
It went through stages.

Now I am a mother and a yogi.
It goes through stages.

The motherhood grounds my yoginess.
It brings me back to normal life.

Both are kind of strong.
One is not better than the other.

But both are also rather different.
Where lies the nuance?

I could never imagine that my working life,
step by step became more of a yogi-kind-of-life.

It probably suits me, as it is granted more and more
every day, to do so.

I am more a yoga practitioner and teacher, than I was before,
when I had a yoga school.

But then motherhood. It is so different.
Alone-someness becomes three-someness.

Motherhood takes all the romanticism of the yoga life away,
but also puts a new one into place.

It is because the motherhood that the yogi life has become
'real'. It is not plastic fantastic. It has become an urge and
a necessity, to support the family life.

What is my religion? Yogism or Motherhoodism?
I do yoga to support motherhood.
I don't do motherhood to support yoga.

So the motherhood is the ultimate goal and the yoga is a way?
It ain't the other way around.
Motherhood is per se.

Since I don't believe in God,
I guess that Motherhoodism is my sincere belief.
Yoga is the vehicle.
God is just the fuel.

Godaya

Drawing without the Lines.

In the end, you must be and move quite autonomously.
Mixing powers and interrelations are all in the non-essence a powerplay.
In the essence they are love, but mostly there ain't no essence in the interrelationship between people.
This lesson is quite a tough cookie, I mean in real life, not in a matter of speaking.

At this moment, there is an urge to move quite autonomously,
but it ain't yet allowed. I have to learn about interrelationships first.
I must first totally click in and so therefore I give myself away many times,
to learn about the different relationships of ownership.

I am owned on the non-essential level.
But on the essential level, a me originates, which can't be owned.
Therefore the ownership (by others) is obviously necessary, before
the non-ownership has a meaning of itself.
Not because I say so, but because others do.

In the interrelationships of owner-ship and non-ownership,
I learn about all kinds of powers, which make me realise,
I don't wanna be owned at all.

Clicking into society, means undoing all kinds of expectations, desires, wishes
and all that. It means dying the self.
And once the self has died,
it starts to revive like a phoenix.

Not because I say so,
but because the phoenix arises, who doesn't know that he is a phoenix
and can't do otherwise.

Being is like a drawing without the lines.

Godaya

To Godaya II

Hi Godaya,

God Is Darwin.

You could also say: when you are hardened (or you also might say: hearted), you are God.

Science therefore is God.

This morning, I heard on the radio: many scientists were 'God-seekers'.

For me there is no difference between the 'God-theory' and the 'Darwin-theory'.

How lovely, the sun shines this morning!

Tonny.

To become the Darwin.

Since I have to survive in the real world,
I am getting deeper into the world of advertisement.

I guess this is so, to un-do it.

There is a duality in G.
On one hand, you feel, and it is said: 'This is not the world of G'.
But on the other hand, you have no other choice than to come along.
So it feels like double .... (4 letter word).

For a long time, I tried to stay out of this.
But this is only possible, when you are a trillionaire.
The only thing I have is a million dollar cornflakes.

Yesterday, I watched the movie Jobs with M.
I already saw it in the plane, but anyways....
The funny thing was: M didn't know who Jobs was, although he uses everything from ..... (5 letter word).
At least there are some people who stay blank.

Being good in business, having a nose for things that are unique and usable, and being convinced of it, no matter what, brings you further in this world.

Making an existence is the same as surviving.
1. You have to be good at what you do.
2. You have to make it unique and usable to the consumer.
3. And you have to stand your ground, no matter what,
and then you make a chance.

Then there is the message, which is about advertisement.
But I guess that first the former conditions count, otherwise all is only based upon a beautiful lie.
What I saw at Jobs is that he not only was good in what he did, but that he also stood his ground at the moments that he was challenged. The world was tough, but he was tougher. Through the reality of G, I learn now that this tough-tougher-toughest is somehow what counts in the people's world, although idealism tries to convince us otherwise.

In G. or in real life, the first 3 are already quite difficult to attain and perfection.
1. What is good? It is a relative definition and who then is better? Or, when is something good enough? - Can you make a living out of it?
2. Unique and usable - is something you work on all the time. - Does the audience understand what you do and does it improve a situation? - you only know when the consumer uses and likes it.
3. Real life is hard, when it comes to standing your ground.

For the first I already tested things for years and for the second I also experienced this was functioning. The only thing was how to make a useful message towards the public. How to sell the unseen world?

For me the latest was very difficult in the last two years and for my whole life. I had to overcome culture difference of movement, not being welcome any longer in the city, but also not being welcome in the Landscape, being pregnant and give labor, a body which was changing all the time and could not be 100% unconditional trustworthy, financial struggle because of my bodily lack and some influential people, that didn't like me swimming in the same water, that made me feel afraid to go as a consequence. Being good or sufficient at 1 or 2 is not enough for the world that we live in.

Through the process, I found out that all the outer struggle is about inner processes and to make more room within your own body and energy. The more room you get on the inside, the more you start to realise that it is just a matter of Darwin and that concurrence exists in the world of Darwin, but not in the world of G. I guess a little that the story of the scorpio and being no longer afraid of its defence mechanism was a token, that I am a bit on the right track. You have to not only understand the Darwin, you have to become the Darwin.

Not there yet....but understanding more of the direction.

When you are tough enough for the Darwin, you don't need the advertisement.

Godaya

To Godaya I

Reaction on yesterday by Tonny:

Hi Godaya,

 

Since yesterday, I see advertisement appearing at your blog. I was just asked the question: 'do you feel comfortable with the effect of what money does to you?' And: 'designing great visualisations'. My money does not so much for me, as I don't have any. The second is nice, as I do have great visualisations. Design means 'giving form to', doesn't it? So that is true for me, as I just prayed a few days ago to Rens or God, whether...: he could give me the power to give form to my power........... I was just looking what was next at the blog...;). There are two actually. One is about money again. The other is nice again. It says: Visual analysis Best practices. And below: Guidebook. 'Nice huh?' You use oracle cards. I just make use of your blog, haha. And... the greatest visions or ideas are off course nothing without the experience. Shall I then ask for advice to my Guidebook? It's only that that Guide or guide doesn't give an answer. Well, Tonny, the answer is given: Best Practices. O, I love life! Really.

Have a nice day! Big hug to your child. 

Tonny

And then she wrote:

Haha! And it now shows shoes of .... (I don't call any names). Haha.

Shoes, as I have to GO!

In the middle of the Jungle

I was walking in the Landscape yesterday, and at the corner of the garden
and the street, there was a scorpio.
It opened itself, probably out of defence,
but I was not afraid.
I wanted to make a picture as a prove, that I really saw it.

It is a little bit surreal, as I am living in the landscape with grass and cows and birds
and nothing.

I didn't know at first: is it a crab, is it a lobster or a scorpio?
But crabs are hamburger alike and they walk sidewards.
Lobsters are way bigger, and almost don't fit a sauce pan.
This one had a tail.

I am in the middle of the jungle in the Landscape.

There were two ways to look at the same picture:

You should be afraid of it, but I was not and therefore it was afraid of me.
Then there was another layer: what a beautiful encounter.
How often does this happen?
I wanted to share this moment with a participant on the street,
but it didn't feel like I had to say it. It was more of a symbolism.

Some time later that night, I was asking myself another question.
And I drew a card. It said: 'look for a sign'.
I couldn't make up one, but then I recalled my encounter with the scorpio.
I totally had forgotten it.

And this is the weird thing about G:
When you heal, it happens naturally. It happens so naturally,
you forgot that it healed.
When you meet a scorpio in the middle of the Landscape, it happens
so naturally, you forgot that it happened.

A week ago, something broke out: The Being overcame the non-being.

The world of G is sometimes a jungle.
Where is the sea?

Godaya

The Un-Facebook.

By doing it, the story originates.
You do something, it makes you into a process.
Did you know that most things are done, or operated on the subconscious level?

When the awareness arises and grows, this unconscious piece becomes conscious.
Mostly it hurts. The bigger truth hurts.

The hurt has to do with growing, with admitting that things are totally different
than you might have expected.

But it also shows the intention of the other, who doesn't even know what the intention is.
There 'is' no intention and meanwhile, there is, without knowing as the effect is the effect.

Sometimes I use words, which are rather neutral.
And then I start to feel: it is not my words, that count, but people do always make
their own story out of it.

The ultimate Babylon.

It doesn't matter.

On the meantime:

It is typically God, or human, that one day I write about the Landscape.
And then the second day the opposite arises. Nothing becomes something.

Did you know, that I am actually integrating more into the Landscape, thanks
to the powerful gift of yoga?

Another would say: thanks to the powerful gift of God.

I don't any longer know, who to thank.

When words aren't sufficient to make one understand,
do some yoga.

My blog is sort of the Un-Facebook.

Godaya

Yoga = Slang

Yoga = slang for everybody.
Everybody yoga's.
What is yoga?
It's slang for everybody.

Godaya

Understanding Technical Necessity

Technical necessity is not about what I need.
It is what others need.

Today I started to give a course, which was already arranged and they asked me.
The course is fully booked.

When I start a course of my own, which might be a token of necessity,
it doesn't work, as I have to promote the self,
while the self must be undone at the same time.

Therefore one has to wait for the technical necessity,
to make things work easily.

Technical necessity is without poverty.
Technical necessity is with patience.
Technical necessity is how nature works.

Godaya

Don't be too shortsighted when you have one.

There were all passengers in the Capitol.
I miss the city.
For me, my hometown is the one I'll never get.
The capitol, is the one, I have chosen myself and left too early.
The Landscape was born out of necessity.
Necessity is never such a good case, it is made out of impulsiveness
with consequences unforeseen.

In the city, at least, they welcomed the refugees.
It is not that people should do that.
But it is at least good to know that there is a countermovement
of people thinking deeply about another person's fate,
instead of only 'what do we have to lose'.
At the same time, who says, that it is not only sentimental romanticism?

Life is vulnerable indeed.
God Changes roles.
First you win, then you lose.
First you lose, then you win.
I don't have an opinion, but at the least, don't be too shortsighted,
when you have one.

The 'I'. Wanting to be all altruistic here, or wanting to be abstract,
God pushes me into the story of the 'I'.
When things don't come or appear, as they should, it is always time for the 'I'.
When nothing is happening, it's time for the 'I'.
When much is happening, the 'I' is forgotten as one is totally drawn into life.
I am here to overcome the I.

Godaya

Sometimes the Box is made tiny.

The universe is huge.
But the box, we are placed in is tiny.

Thinking about the greatness of the universe
ain't enough to permanently escape the tiny box.

Something else needs to happen first,
to make the hugeness of the universe to become real.

Sometimes the box is made tiny,
to make us forget the universe
and focus on daily reality.

Godaya

Freedom comes at a cost.

Why isn't there a law: 'The full right to exist?'
Why do you have to earn it?
Why do you have to defend it?
Why do you have to work for it?

Freedom always comes at a cost.
The effortless flow comes only when you consumed all the effort.

Godaya

Soft and Kind today.

When I teach other people to be soft, kind and acceptable to themselves and their situations,
I should be more soft, kind and acceptable to me and my situations.

I should practice what I preach...
Let's be soft and kind today.

Godaya

Does someone have a Boat?

Hope is what drives us forward.
Hope is what drives us crazy.
Hope is beyond the horizon.
The horizon is beyond the sea.

Does someone have a Boat?

Godaya

With no end

Is this my destiny?

Destination = with no end
Endlessness = with no destination.

Godaya

The Law of the People

People act at conscious and unconscious impulses.
I don't want to know about the law of the people,
At the same time I have to deal with it.
Knowledge comes through dealing with it.
Let them play. I dance.

Godaya

Straight forward.

Union is, no distraction.
Uni-fication is, overcoming the distraction.

Godaya

One Million Cornflakes

Did you know that yoga works?

Godaya

Real Deal

Is this what reality looks like?

Godaya