zondag 19 juli 2015

Maybe my Authenticity Knows....

The Being becomes more....

Like I am transparant. Buzz is going on, and then Being is also there.

Sometimes I am caught up in this and that's. Human suffering.
But then, I move towards the heart, and I laugh: there is no human suffering.

There is a freedom of choice between this and that's.
There is even beyond the choice no need to chose.
Layer by layer the New Arises and becomes more.

A new movement is moving me.

I am not sure, what I have with places. It is a symbolism or a metaphor, for who I am,
or for who I am not.

Feeling like home, feeling at home, is an over-romanticised thing.
Still, there is a clue in it.

Sometimes a place feels like home and sometime it doesn't.

I was sent to here and there. But I ended up in the Landscape.
... said: 'The Landscape for you is NOT at all levels'. He couldn't be more right.
It didn't have so much to do with the Landscape. When you drive through it,
it is beautiful. And off course the whole world in the Landscape feels @ home.

So, it is a symbolism for 'NOT'.
But in this duality, I figure out an interesting process.

Sometimes things in God are useful. Not that I always like it a lot.
What to do with the 'NOT' if the 'opposite also doesn't work already'.

I am still not sure. It is still a process.

Bending the NOT into a 'run away' is overestimated.
I learned that when I moved towards my Hometown and was catapulted twice.

As one doesn't have to 'want' things,
one also doesn't have to un-want things'.
The un-want is an evenly desire.

But time does a lot, because in the mean-time, things are happening, which bend the NOT
into a realism, that is more acceptable, and makes you moving towards a Yes, but then
some place else. But through the realism of Being, you learn, it's maybe some place else.
Over-romanticizing the NOT is killing.
But the NOT must become an acceptation and the un-want must be undone.

First work and then live, ... .says,
Work brings me to a familiair place, one place, which somehow is a bit like my Hometown,
but then new. And the other place is the capitol again, where I used to live for half my life,
which is also an authentic part of me. I am so glad that this awakens again.
I left the city, from a run, a not, but I didn't leave the city. It is still in my heart.
This opens, as in the city, I feel connected again with the rest of the world.

When I look at both, and they both represent a part of my authenticity, then I don't understand
what I am doing in the Landscape, which doesn't represent anything at all,
but probably I am un-doing things and that is the useful thing of the NOT.

At the same time, there is still some business to do here and maybe this has to do with
integration in general. Integration is a life theme: Am I in the new, integrating in society,
or, does integrate society into me?

I am still not sure. And this is where the tension is: undoing the old stuff, you come into a
new authenticity. In this new authenticity, you unlearn adaptation, which you have done too
much so far. But then, if there is no integration at all, until how far must one re-adept? It happens,
but it goes slowly. On one hand I learn, no adaptation leads to others to adept. But no adaptation
also can lead towards a stand still.

One day, I did a meditation: and I saw myself at the top of the Himalayas. On the top of the
roof of the world. And I always felt: my core strength is: sitting on this top of the roof of the
world, waiting for the world to come to me, climbing that hill. I felt really senang and I really
understood deeply, that Being makes people climb the mountain. But it requires time, just as
the Deep Waters of the Source, the After life requires time, for others to reach it.

But what if you are placed in a location, which is NOT for you, while it is INDEED for the rest
for the whole world, should I descend that mountain and adapt into society, or do the opposite?

The technical necessity makes me do things.

As the answer isn't clear yet, I drive and go to the places, which awaken more of my authenticity.
Maybe my authenticity knows.


Godaya
August 2nd: Open Heart Yoga. godayame@icloud.com




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