I am hiding for myself.
Maybe I like it too much here.
Maybe I don't wanna go down.
Maybe the no man's land is soothing me and nourishing me.
Maybe, maybe.
I learned to un-rush.
I feel like a baby, like I don't want to go.
It's so comfortable in here.
The Reading is so recognizable for where I am.
There are so many ideas.
There is so much knowledge.
There is so much ability.
I almost have to cry.
Nowadays, I see, hear so much people who invented the wheel.
But I have the wheel.
And I don't use it.
Yes, I use it on the unknown.
God is comforting me. I don't have to rush.
I can stay here for a while.
If people would meet me and ask what it is that I am doing,
I almost can't explain.
There is so much ability. There is so much creation. There is so much healing. What if you would
invent chocolate, which could heal cancer? What if you could invent water, which could heal fears.
What if your water would really transmit the Love of God? What if you would invent the dreamcatchers, which would surely protect your house? What if you would make perfume, which would cleanse your aura? What if you would bake bread, which would feed you with the power of God? What if you would produce a Magazine, where the words would heal your mind? What if you would make a hospital for sick and ill animals?
What if? What if?
These ideas are so close to me.
I know I can realize them all.
Still I am sitting on my bed again, writing this blog.
I now do understand more of myself.
Most of the people are willing to do that, but can't.
I can do that, but won't.
And I don't know why this is.
Maybe deep within me, I don't believe in myself.
It doesn't matter what the assignment is: within a few months I learned myself to cook and bake.
If I have to exploit a mine tomorrow, I'll make it work within a few months.
I can make everything out of nothing.
This is not meant to be arrogant, but this is what life has shown me so far.
I was one of the first women, that lied beneath the ice with the Iceman,
just within two days, while never have been really in snow before.
Through this little experience I now also know how to set and reset your cells and heal physical
illness from within and as my energy pervades the bodies of many, I also am able to reset it in others.
Moreover, I not only know it, but I also do have the didactical way to explain this for people,
so that an idea doesn't have to die in vain, because you knew it, but couldn't talk about it.
I talked about this with Rens.
He said: 'the most beautiful thing would be, that you healed it, and didn't know you did it'.
So the discussion wasn't even about: 'can you do it or not', but about 'how to do it, or not'.
So I really need to reach this point.
The point that it doesn't matter that it works like this. That you have anything to do with it.
Within me there is a part, which is afraid of dying, without having all this shared with the people,
or executed. So this is one of the frustrations.
The second thing, that I am afraid of, is the naivety of man. There is still a part within man, that needs to die. Man now feels comfortable and is not willing to do this voluntarily.
And if one is, because he sees/feels/believes it is working, then the outer world is not willing to let this happen, as everyone does have an own interest in people being ill.
We now do yell maybe at the pharmaceutic world, but it is not only that. I am also talking about family members here in general, or nurses or doctors, if you would really look deeply in the believe system of the 'helping' and 'supporting' part, really really deeply, then most of the time people don't want or like change. So much help is based on making things better, while beneath the surface, it is all about control. I know this, because I have been there myself.
The third thing, that I am afraid of, is that I cannot be social within who I am. The messenger is oftentimes the one that puts the impression and makes people do something or do nothing. To act or
to non act. Here I am getting to a point with myself.
I just cannot be my freaking self in this world.
I just cannot be my freaking self in this world.
I need more openness about who I am.
But the outside world doesn't let me be.
Because, when I am myself, then the rest of the world either
-ignores me.
-resents me.
-declines me.
-is afraid of me.
As this still is so, other powers are still in charge.
Why?
It was already read, that before I would let the light shine through me for always, and do what I came here to do, and therefore necessarily would be visible, that I would test these things within human connections.
I guess that the world is not ready. And I guess that I am not ready to stand in my authority.
Therefore.
So, today, let's clean again and be no-one.
Godaya
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