Photos by Ine III

That is what Neighbours do.

Sometimes it's too busy to find some time to write.
When there is too much time, the only thing I did was to write.

At this moment I am working hard and try to integrate the new life (work and child)
into the old life. (not work and child).

I cannot hardly imagine that I was just visiting an opening of a shop in my street.
I went there alone with the little one. Just being in the neighbourhood.

Walking around and Chit-Chatting with all kinds of people, until I went home.
Of course also grasping some little snacks for the celebration.
It is not only work and child. It is also work and child and neighbourhood.

I am a neighbour. That is what neighbours do.
They fill up the neighbourhood,
chit-chatting about the neighbourhood.
What's new? And Stuff.

It's been a year ago, since I started to live here.
So much has happened since then!
I guess that integration takes time.
I guess that one year is not so much time for this.
I guess that in the end, all went so bloody fast.
While it felt for a long time, that nothing was happening at all.

Godaya

Photos by Ine II

Tomorrow is going to be Hot.

Sometimes, when I write something, things turn around.
That is not the aim, but it is - obviously - sometimes the effect.

At this moment, the yoga opens more and more.
I am glad to feel that I am finally ... 'something'...,
as for years I was a plumber without tools, an ice skater
without ice, a healer without a magic stick.... I was clumping
around. This year, I have worked in quite some different
functions, finding out, I was not.

Through experience and work I know now, that it is
'just work' with good days and bad days. One has to go
to work. Loving your work is 'overly-done', but at least
I can finally say:
something is fitting me.

I am no longer an office manager applying for a job
as a headhunter, or a fireman, blushing an ice-cake....

No, I guess I could say: I am a Yogi! Religiously, practically,
authentically and hopefully finally....

Yesterday, there were two closures: I didn't know that
I functioned as a closure, but it felt a little like that.
The last beed of the necklace.
Not to be 'someone', but functionally seen in time:

One group was closed earlier: I have to study as a yoga teacher
to be part of the Dutch Yoga Teacher Society. So I subscribed
for a meditation teacher training (Za Zen, Samsara and Vipassana)
to follow. Then I heard that the group was closed already, fully
booked. I left it to providence.

Also I had applied at a New Yoga Center in the Landscape.
For some time this was also fully scheduled. I left it up to providence.

But then yesterday, I got the news of both, that there was
a place provided.
And also I heard the news that I got yoga hours,
which double my amount of weekly
classes. Just after both became finalised, a gesture of both was
made, so that it really felt like a closure (functional). Like it
was already meant to be so.

I mean: I didn't knew, but Providence did.
Well, thank you Providence.

Whatever, let's not romanticise the whole thing....
We do it for the bread, as the breastfeeding is also slowly
coming to a closure....to a bread.
Breast ->  Bread.
It is just work....

But it also feels like a deep relieve, that 11 years of working,
applying and trying this and trying that and figuring out that nothing fits
(for years), is finally coming to a closure. Let's hope so.

I guess it also has to do with time. Eleven years ago, yoga wasn't
so 'hot'. - it by then was not really a 'job'.

Tomorrow,
I have to teach a class in a heated cabine.
It's going to be a hot day.

My weekly yoga schedule will be published on my website:
www.godaya.me

Godaya

Stop throwing Stones.

Besides that all people represent themselves, they also represent something deeper,

at a bigger scale within the system.

We all have a message to bring, which is beyond our knowing.

This is something totally different than 'what we think it is'.

It could be that someone is 'acting like it is my wish to better this world',

while at a deeper layer something opposing is brought into this world.

What is there behind the message?

Or that someone is telling a sad story,

but at the same time you feel better through his/her presence.

It is all operating very unconscious.

It is a little bit like the weather.

In the beginning you almost don't notice it.

After a while you start noticing it, 

but you cannot change it, - the weather -, 

you have to go through it and see if you are still standing straight.

It is life to encounter this and that.  

This standing straight is weird and so not the old kind of way.

Because, when you stand straight, how to be of help to another person?

In the beginning you only feel guilt: I should help.... but at the same time, 

the water flows differently. Or: I should help.... but at the same time,

I am rooted into the earth and cannot walk, as I am a tree standing still.

One has to find me first.

This passiveness, it is so weird!

Looking at it, receiving it, swallowing it, digesting it, pooping it,

and when it is in one of those stages,

the other is already gone and you are here with your life and the other is there with his life.

The water is the time, that flows. 

Sometimes the water is like mud.

Sometimes the water flows like a waterfall.

Time passing by. 

Water flowing to a standstill.

Lately I am integrating in the Landscape,

while M is disintegrating from the Landscape.

It is weird. What is it going to be. It is the opposite of whatever was all that time.

I am not allowed to work a lot, but what I work, grows and grows.

It is weird. I die to get to work, it goes through all the difficult and stupid

and dishonourable steps.

But once I get to work, it grows intrinsic and helps all other parts in my life.

The powers emerge. 

Where I used to be happy with one or two participants in a class, 

there are sometimes eighteen. 

But also, these many people, esp. when you are going deeper, also represent

all kinds of weather. As I am learning to stand still in time and let the water flow

and the time walk ahead, through the art of patience and rooting,

I see it inter colliding and meeting and bumping into others.

As the intrinsic growth is going so fast, once I work, 

I now understand why it is so hard to get work/get to work.

Off course there is the natural flow and timing. 

And you cannot peak forever.

But the getting to work part is opposed,

by whomever don't want you to exist.

It takes a while to figure this one out, 

to feel this deeper and to take action.

It is all so unconscious.

Getting back to the Darwin:

Getting back to the Rens:

Getting back to the Ha-le-lu-yah:

Getting even back to the Michel Houellebecq:

People do a lot to exist more than others.

But everyone should have the precondition to exist.

Whomever did make the non-existence as a precondition?

Was this the rage of God, when the angels fell or Adam and Eve

were leaving Paradise on Earth?

Fortunately and unfortunately enough, at some point you 'have to go for the kill',

to be not killed yourself. 

This makes sad in the beginning. This insight, but also this reality, that insight must

be translated into action. 

This is the Krishna point, where I was talking about.

I don't wanna fight, but I have to. It is my destiny.

It is the only way to allow the life force flowing into you.

It brings you beyond the judgemental stuff: 'don't do this, don't do that', to be a good person.

It was told by the One, who already had the Life Force Elixir flowing through the body.

When this is so, then the don't do this and don't do that can enter your life.

But without the Elixir, it is just wasting each other's time and a way to feel better

than the other.

A good person, with enough respect to the life force,

does the right thing, to make the little one eat by the end of the day,

just like everything and everyone in nature does.

What people sometimes forget, when quoting how things should be,

is the harshness of life and all the woundedness of people, 

that one has to deal with, while having to do the stuff that needs to be done.

Stop throwing stones.

I'll take my stone back. I am sorry.

Godaya 

 

Photos by Ine

Ine already sent several pictures in former blogs.
She exposes at Piershil in the Silver Shoe and designed the covers of
Go Dao & Open Heart Yoga, see website: www.godaya.me
Several photo's can be ordered in the format of postcards.

To Godaya IV

Hi Godaya,

Thanks for your answer.

I am happy for that.

There is respect.

You use God. It might sound crazy, but...

God uses you as vehicle and you eat his fuel.

God needs you.

As you are dying, you can do nothing else than eat his fuel.

Back together in one, giving from the heart, giving from the love'.

Thanks for that!

Tonny.