Since I am more pregnant, I am also drawn inward to listen more carefully to what my body says.
It is a sort of anchor, within all the fluctuations around me.
Normally, I would react very much on the demands of the outside world.
Yesterday, for the first time I did not.
The outside challenges keep on coming and as this probably will always be so in the Land of God,
I'll not coincide anymore.
Yesterday, I became aware that people kind of always asking me to solve their outside stuff. I always felt sort of responsible, worried and out of control. And it was the control thing that made me help.
Yesterday, for the first time, I felt, that I didn't want to be in control. So, I let it more go and then things found another walk of passing by.
First there was deep guilt always. Now there is not the deep guilt, but more the irritation or frustration, but when I let this be also, then in the end there is nothing and this feels fine.
I have made a new brochure for Business Yoga and it suits well and I sent it to some companies. I make yoga applicable to all kinds of company questions. And I am going to make a book about it.
So you have Godaya Yoga Sutras, which is a bit religious, but the Yoga @ Work is more horizontally, let's not say for dummies. I am still wondering whether to use the word God in Godaya Yoga. Maybe, maybe not. Yesterday I was in relaxation class and the person explained, while doing namasté, that she explicitly didn't say God, while deep inside maybe she meant it.
I say explicitly God, but by God, I mean, the Pure Being, or G. next door, or Brahman, or Paramatman, or God, or Allah, or Jaweh, or the Buddha, or Mother Nature in the most primitive sense.
But by saying God aloud, things normally are starting to live an own life. Not because because of me, because I am a leek, not going to church, not choosing a religion, but because of everyone's past. But if you have to make every short sutra with all those names above, the sutras will be too long.
But, what is new off course, because of Vivication, that I don't mean the Divine Aspect within everyone. I mean the Divine Aspect out of everyone, the part which is new, not yet incarnated into human being, splitting up into human being, duplicating into human being.
I am still not sure..... as I am talking about the 'same' God as Rens, but it sometimes seems like we talk about a different God, as our experiences are so diverse and probably won't be the same. One of those reasons is that I am still releasing the whole controlling part of being a human being.
The reason for this might be, that he has never been really human, and that first I was made human and then was made differently, so I always am perceiving within those transitions of being normal towards abnormal, let's not say paranormal.
So, I always have to do with the before-and-after, while he is always talking about the after-the- before. Both make sense, because I cannot talk about the after-the-before, as then people think you are nuts, but also you ignore the before-the-after-aspects.
In a way, I am glad that there is a before-the-after.... I am glad, that I am given the natural time to live the before-the-after, just before the after-the-before takes place. It makes me experience the transformation very deeply and consciously, but I also wouldn't and couldn't catch up with me, when I would only talk about the after-the-before. I then would play a sort of game and not be really authentic. I then would be a New Human Being, without ever being a human being before.
This weekend is rather busy. We have all kinds of social obligations and also it will be our last weekend fully together. Due to obligations, also brought up by God, we are torn more apart, while living together.
So before-the-after, we couldn't live together and the house was almost too small for fights over this-and-that. And now we are used to each other, and really starting to like it, and then the after-the-before is drawing us more apart!
That is typically God.
You want, but you won't get.
And you get, but you don't want.
I want God.
God Doesn't Want me.
I don't want God.
God Wants me.
Doesn't He ever Gets Tired of His Own Freakishness?
You know who is really Abnormal?
God, I mean Pure Being, I mean G. Next Door, I mean Brahman, I mean Paramatman, I mean God, I mean Allah, I mean Jaweh, I mean Buddha, I mean Mother Nature in the Most Primitive Sense? = a Boring Unpractical Sutra, unpublished in Godaya Yoga Sutra.
Godaya
